I been failed the fast about three days ago. After that I been binging like crazy. Eating clearly over 3000 calories daily. Never hungry just eating...eating, eating. I weighed today at 280 and wasn't shocked at all. Just was like.....took deep breath and got in the shower and was like here we go. My knees felt weak always, but today much weaker that it took a lot just to go up the bus stairs and down and that was so painful, couldn't take the stairs because my knees hurt and my ankleswere screaming for mercy just to sit down! All through out the day my left arm from shoulder down felt oddly numb and tired and weak. My body all day was breaking down. I had to force myself just to type this! I am like....when I start my new job wed. how will I make it? All day I said in my mind am dying...over and over and I felt so afraid that my body would just give out and they would find my body on the streets from a stroke or heart attack. All day my money went towards food. I struggled along walking and trying to go up two steps on the bus.
Breakfast: Banana, ramen noodles. two slices of pizza, two large cups of juice
Lunch: Mc doanlds meal number 11. The angus mushroom witha large fry and three refills of orange soda
Dinner: Marshmellow peeps, two cups of juice, four chocolate cookies
Am not hungry.....but I want more. I am very out of control and I am lost. I can't help my desire for food its so strong. Today I was nervous I ate....after everything was cool, I ate. I feel as if am slowly killing myself without a care.
Now am slowly getting up...going for mash potatoes and ribs....someone help me :(
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